Trying to Understand ......

Tuesday, March 15, 2016



It's been awhile since I blogged .... Life seems to keep me at a very face pace most days.... Leaving little time for blog post .... I have missed it! I have found myself with more time than I know what do with at the moment. 
On December 26,2015 I fell at the end of our driveway. I was trying to help my sweet hubby out, by pulling the trash can to the end of the drive way ! I hit a mud puddle and went flying ! I promise if someone seen they got the laugh of their life! I sprang my ankle and I really thought I had only sprang my knee. When almost a month went by and my ankle got better and my knee was worse. It lead to a series of doctors appointments. We would learn I had scuffed the cartilage on the outer part of the bone and knee cap causing rivets .... Also kinda cause a lil jagged edge to my meniscus. It would require a 20 minute arthroscopy to correct a few weeks to recover and I could return to a normal life with out crutches ! Ohh how I could not wait to ditch the crutches ! Even with all of that life was still constantly busy... As a pastors family comes with lots of demands and lots of trials of everyday life.... I was ready to not have to depend on my whole family to help me out with all they all ready had on their own plates ! I am one of those people who love to help others ! In the same token I struggle with asking for help ! 
It's crazy how things can change in the blink of an eye! The things we struggle with become what we need most ! 
On March 1,2016 I checked into out patient surgery for a knee repair. When I woke up from recovery my whole world had been turned upside down! During surgery I aspirated stomach acid into my left lung ! Causing chemical burns to my lung and my esophagus, I also suffered an injury to my heart causing pericarditis fluid on my heart. I haven't had a voice since I woke up beyond a whisper. I spent 7 days in the hospital! My small knee injury repair just turned into a nightmare. I will be the first to tell you My God Makes NO MISTAKES!!!! He will will give beauty for the ashes! So that's why I want to share this journey with you ! I do not want self pity or anyone to feel sorry for me ! My whole life as I knew it is changed at the moment ! I know it's temporary! But nothing is the same ! I am currently staying in our apartment that is attached to our home! I sleep setting straight up on a chase because my breathing is severely affected and I constantly feel like I am suffocating, I walk with the assistance of a walker and can only go a very short distance. Before my I am gasping for air, the fluid on my heart causes extreme chest pain, I need assistance having a shower, I have to set in a chair and it takes every ounce of strength I have ! My family has taken on all the things in our home I normally take care of ! We have had such an out pouring of love for my family through this !!! Our church has helped with meals, they have visited,called texted and made sure we have been taken care of. Not to mention our own family and friends who have been there !!!! One of the hardest things for me to hand off is my ministry work with the the kids ! I know it's okay thought because they are in very capable hands !!! Like I said my world I know it has changed entirely.... 
Now my list of things to get done for my family and church are scheduled Drs appointments. Keeping up with medicines. Waiting patiently for my change to come !
So I would like to keep a blog of Gods goodness through all of this ! I want others to know that even when we don't understand , God has a plan !!!! 
Today I want to share how this will forever change the way I see my husband !!!! As every marriage we have our fights! We are normal... These past few months had been a lil bumpy for us... But we were okay.... As a wife we all have to admit we take our husbands and our marriages for granted at times ! We are all guilty! Jody is an amazing man of God ! I am beyond proud to be his wife! I have already seen God use this to strengthen our marriage beyond words! Petty things that we think are so important are no longer that important! Like a spotless house, everything in order in life and ministry, the things that aren't even important enough to list. When tragedy happens all of that no longer is important. Instead the man who never left your bedside,still hasn't by the way ! He slept in the recliner at the hospital and sleeps on the couch beside the chase every night to make sure he can hear me if I need him ! He helps me bathe, dress, waits on my every need. Never once has he complained! Even when I can see he is so tired he can hardly go, he never complains! He's my king ladies !!! I have seen the love of Jesus through this man in so many ways ! He prays with me encourages me !!! Reminds me that no matter what it's okay Gods got this! I am reminded every time I look at him our love is so much more than what you can see. It does not matter if everything is falling apart around me Gods love and Jody's love makes what seem impossible possible !!!! I am so blessed to call this man mine ! I will close today's blog with a few lyrics from a song my sweet hubby shared with me before he had to return to work today.... I could tell it was a struggle for him to decide on what was best for him to do ! My sweet girls are looking after their Mom while he has to be gone ! However before he left he shared this song he heard last night while listening to TD Jakes... After we listened to it together and silent tears fell.... He joined me on the chase and wrapped his arms around me and prayed with me! These words are my testimony !!!! I will praise God in the hallway till I see it come to pass then I will shout it for all to hear! "Yes I am healed by the WORD of GOD! It's already done! I'm just waiting for my change to 
come!" 
God created Jody and I for each other !!! He made no mistake! Be sure to let your hubby know you love and appreciate him 💕
So if you think about it lift my family up in prayer ! Gods got this! 
     

2 comments:

  1. See how loved you are! I'm sure that a part of this was to show you how appreciated you really are. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They have all made feel so loved and appreciated through all of this !!!! I am so very blessed 💕

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