Saturday, January 3, 2015

Only time .....

It's taken me all day to muster up the courage to blog .... I still haven't felt well ... That wasn't it though .... Today marks a very hard day .... It's hard to believe this time 2 yrs ago I was making my way to West Virgina ... After a phone call from my sister Jackline .... I'll never forget how the call began ... Shellie I don't want to upset you ! Then there was a pause ... That was followed by I just received a call Laurie (my oldest sister ) had been un responsive for thirty minutes and they had revived her she was on a reparatior! I needed to come .... The days leading up to this was beyond belief ! We had talked really talked for the first time in years !!!we had laughed , cried , shared memories.  & most of all told one another how proud we were of each other .... That wasn't something that normally came easy for us ... We had a strained relationship for many years ... Life had not always been kind .... Choices made things worse ... However on Christmas Eve she called and told me she had accepted Jesus as her Savioir !!!! I was on top of the world !!! We let things that plagued is go .... Several days later our Uncle died ... She was beside herself .... She asked me 4 times to come home !!! She needed to see me ! I just couldn't .... I couldn't go for many reasons .... 5 days later I would make that trip any ways .... I never thought the last conversation we had telling each other how proud we were to be each other's sister would be the last time I would hear her say bean I love you ! Always remember that okay ..... 
  I have lost many through the years ... Nothing prepared me for this loss ... I felt like when I saw her on that bed apart of me was laying there with her .... Left with her the next day .... When she left this world for her heavenly home.... She never woke up .... She never responded to our voices or touch .... She was a shell that was empty it seemed ... I'll never ever forget before the decision was made to turn the machine off ... We all gathered by her bed and sang .... She was always so full of life and loved to sing ... She had the voice of an angel .... I couldn't help but think she was singing now .... Maybe not with us !!! Yet at the feet of Jesus !!! With The one just days before have her a new life and a promise of eternal life just days before!!! I couldn't help but think how lucky she was .... Today marks 2 years .... Much has happened .... Even though in some ways it's easier ... In others it's not ... I'm not sure your heart ever gets over loosing someone we love .... I think we will always miss their presence ... Especially during the holidays ... Anniversary and of course Birthdays .... Today a thought crossed my mind ... Tomorrow marks her eternal birthday !!! Meaning I will see her again , I will hear her sing , laugh , feel her hug me once more , and most excitedly hear her call me Bean !!!!! I know there will be days that are harder than others , I know Jesus understands after all He cried when He heard the news of Lazzareth ... So I know he understand my hurting heart ... I wasn't shocked when my devotion matched my aching heart this morning ! That's just how amazing my God is !!! He's always on time !!!! So I will leave you with a thought and some scripture ! Always make time to make. Memory , take pictures even if you don't want too , forgive quickly , and always say  I love you !!! You never know when it will be your last time !!!! I'm glad I did those things with Laurie before she went home .... I want to leave you with this scripture John 16:33 says :
I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
Im glad that with Jesus there is peace !
Many Blessings Shellie 
My sweet sissy when I was 16 !!! This one of my favorite pictures of her 💜

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