Wednesday, May 18, 2016
How to Mend What's Not Really Broken.....
As the First Lady of our Church, a Mom, and Friend. I have many moments of counseling and ministering over the past sixteen years....
I must say the ones that break my heart into shattered pieces are the ones who don't see the beauty that God created and they have either lost or never given the chance to see their self worth.
As of lately I have had these conversations with young girls 13 and under as young as 7! Yes you read right 7! It has made me question what are we teaching our children in our homes and society? I have spent some time in prayer over this issue a lot over the past few years !
This past weekend reminded me why we are going to have to step up as moms , leaders of our church's ,and society! Help our little girls, teens, women of all ages see that know that they are beautiful ! That means no matter their size, hair, color of their skin, or where they come from.
I recently had a lil girl set beside me on my couch and ball and tell me she is fat and ugly! She is eleven. Now what she thinks she sees and what I see are totally different ! I see a beautiful blossoming young lady with long beautiful curly hair, blue eyes , a smile that lights up a room, petite in height not heavy at all . She is a perfect image of what an eleven year old child should look like.
When she told me all she seen was ugly and fat my heart broke! When I asked some questions why she felt that way I soon learned my hearts suspicions were correct.... She had been repeatedly told that she is fat and ugly at school! Unfortantly she has took those labels on and owned them as hers! We live in a society that defines our beauty by our size .... If our hair looks like such and such on tv, and good heavens forbid we have a flaw because after all Disney stars don't !
Some how we must reverse this vicious cycle ! As a teen I battled a eating disorder and a lot of image issues with myself ! I never felt pretty or good enough even when I only weighed 105 lbs ! I still thought I needed to be smaller.... Or I needed be more like so and so. Other wise I would never be pretty or good enough! The generation before mine did have the mentality that how we were to look our best no matter what was going on because good appearances made everyone believe as long as the outside looked good they would never know how jacked up the inside really was ! Wether it was their homes or them we are talking about !!! No one was ever to know if something wasn't perfect !
So it wasn't uncommon to be told to suck your stomach in no man wanted a fat girl , or the house had to be perfect inside and out because really behind closed doors it was falling apart , or to be compared and asked why your not more like some one else !
All of that brings me to this ! We all ready know how these things affected us as children. Let's be honest I lost so much weight before my wedding that I could have walked out of my wedding gown !!! I still thought I was ugly and fat on our honeymoon !!!! It took many years to realize my jean size does not define who I am, my worth , or my beauty !!!!! But how many times do our daughters hear us say I am fat , I'm ugly , or I need to drop a few sizes or Daddy isn't going to think I'm attractive anymore !!! Shame on us ladies !!!!! We just taught our child the only type of people who are beautiful are skinny people ! How many times have they heard us compare ourselves to some one else and say if on,you could look like that !!!! We just taught her what God created was not good enough for us, we want a do over ! During the conversation with this beautiful eleven year old girl, tv stars were mentioned! I knew who she was comparing herself to for sure now ! Disneys stars ! Yep I said that out loud ! I love Disney cartoons .... But the tv shows give girls an unrealistic idea of life ! I never remember going to school dressed to the nines , hair and make-up perfect and my figure perfect! Ya know the thigh gap, flat tummy, all the curves in all the right places !!!! Hmmmm no one ever mentions to these girls that they are photo shopped .... They have some one to dress them, do their make-up, and their hair. That on their normal everyday life doesn't look like this ! But let's be honest how many of our moms are comparing ourselves to others as well ! Well if I could just look like .... I'm trying this diet.... Or maybe if I wear my hair like this ...l will be beautiful and accepted more !
We are suppose to set the example in our homes ! Now don't take me wrong there is nothing wrong with being healthy ! We all need excersize if our body's will allow it and healthy foods to keep the inside running well ! We have a problem when we tell lil Suzie you can't eat a ice cream with her on a hot afternoon because your on a diet ! Our daughters learn from us from the time they are brought in this world ! If they constantly hear you put down your body and say your fat and ugly I can promise you she will too !!! Ohh how I wish someone would have told me that before I had kids ! I didn't really realize this till I became pregnant with my second child ! A high risk pregnancy , a death , complications after delivery was a cocktail like no other ... I never really lost all the weight ! It took me some time but I finally gained my confidence back and realized that I was beautiful no matter what size! There has been a few times I have to remind myself that ! Even now ! I gained 20 lbs mostly fluid during my health crisis ! I even had to go out and buy new shirts ! However I have remained positive through all of this ! It's just a number ! It's doesn't tell me who I am ! God does !!! He thinks I am beautiful ! He wants me to think I'm beautiful because He created me !!!! He wants me to know my worth is a price above rubies (Proverbs 31:10) because my worth is found in Jesus !!! Not my size ! He thinks I'm perfect the way I am !!! Because I'm made in His image !!!! (Psalm 139:4)
We recently had a guest speaker at our Church who was born with out arms ! If she can tell me she walks by the mirror and says aww girl you look beautiful today !!!! You are fine ! I love you !!! Mauw girl you are hot !!! Why can't we ? It's time we change how we see ourselves ! Instead of telling yourself your ugly, tell yourself your beautiful and you love yourself for who you are !!! Not what you want be !!! Let your daughter hear you tell yourself you look pretty today !!!! Tell her she's beautiful ! Remind her she is fearfully and wonderfully made !!! We need to step and lDies and take our girls back !!!! Satan has had them to long telling them they aren't worth nothing ! Because Jesus thought we worth dieing for! Don't let Satan steal your joy another day wrapped up in what we have told ourselves or others may have said .... Let God restore you and your daughters today ! Remind them words don't define what God Made !!! He thinks your beautiful and so do I!
The King is enthralled by your beauty. Psalm 45:11
You have been noticed,
He thinks your beautiful ,
The glass slipper fits,
The music is playing,
And He's asking you to dance!
Princess will you give all over to God, take His hand let Him show you how beautiful you are !
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