Yesterday was one of those days we dread so much.... You know the phone rings and the caller on the other line has bad news! For our family those phone calls seem to come to quick and so close together! When the caller is informing your family has just lost another loved one.
My niece and nephew lost their Dad unexpected yesterday.
It's in those moments I have found I think we all reflect on our lives.... I know all too well the pain of loosing a father... This year will mark 17 yrs.... my has time so quickly went by us?
The Bible gives the best comfort for times like this a promise , for those of us who choose Him to be our savior, we will close our eyes in death and open them in His presence! One day I will see those who love Him and asked Him into their heart again one day soon!
Yet even still the grief of a loss will still be very profound in our lives, as we grieve the loved one.
Through out my life I have learned grief comes in many different forms. It's not always because a loss of a loved one though that sparks grief!
All though I do believe that is one of the most crippling griefs there is!
Jesus even grieved his friend Lazarus in John 11:35.
I have found myself grieving things this year, that did not pertain to actual death.
I have grieved the loss of health, the ability to do things I once could do with such ease, the loss of what my appearance once was, I have grieved being the wife I have worked so hard to be, grieved not being able to work in the ministry 100%.
I know you may think that all these things sound so selfish to grieve the loss of such carnel things. Yet it's just the opposite, being able to openly grieve them in my heart has helped me grow. Even still I find my self saddened every now and then when I look back over 2016.
However that grief has taught me that although I have some pretty serious health issues, I serve a God that has performed miracles and protected me from death not once but twice, in just one year! My health may not be perfect but I am super thankful for the health I have. Not having to carry oxygen everywhere I go, no longer depending on a wheelchair or a walker! My legs have been restored as well as my heart and lungs! Although I struggle with chronic fatigue and I still need help with lots of daily activities God choose to leave me here and draw my family closer to one another.
Although I have gained weight due to in mobility and meds, my body is marked by multiple scars from major surgeries this year. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and the most beautiful part of someone is their heart not their outward appearance. Each scar tells a beautiful story of grace and love of a mighty savior!
My hubby is the most patient man in the world I believe, all though carrying the burden of my responsibilities and his, it has been done with such love always reminding me all things will come in time .... As far as ministry goes God has constantly reminded in in my heart that I am doing exactly what He has for me too do at this moment.
Grief can be used to grow us in the darkest moments of our lives. However we have to choose to allow Him to grow us! Wether it's a loss of a loved one.... I have lost a lot over the years a father,all of my grandparents but one, a sister and a nephew who was like a brother.... Each loss has taught me a great deal! God will never leave you nor forsake you in your time of need! What are you grieving? Will you give to Him and let Him heal what we can not? Will you let Him grow you and love you? I promise it will be worth the time and effort... give Him your grief and fears.... He promises beauty for your ashes....