Monday, September 3, 2018

I Quit!

Being a Pastors wife can be rewarding and challenging to say the least! Over the years I have found myself longing for someone who understood The life I lead. there was no such person sadly. When I began blogging it was something I wanted to share in hopes it would help others along the way. When one of my best and dear friends asked my to join on her ministry wives blog roll! I was over joyed at the thought of a network of women who share the ups and downs of ministry! Encourage each other along the way!
So today I am linking up with Stacy at A Homemakers Heart.
If you would like to join in on sharing please follow the link below! We would love to hear from you!
Last week has proven to be on of more trying weeks in ministry to date! The stress sometimes is much more than one person can bear.
We have so many expectations placed on our shoulders as pastors wives we often forget the person God created us to be,
 When we loose sight of that we were called to be, other than pastor wives become frustrated, just as I did,
I truly told my husband those very words I Quit!
 So what do we do when we become so frustrated we want to throw our hands up and quit?
For me I had to take a step back and ask why I had gotten there to begin with.
I think sometimes some forget that just because we are pastors wives we aren't super women.
We have needs of our own. We need to be fed spiritually and we can only take on so much.
Its very easy for someone to demand they want to see this happen or we should incorporate such and such.... Yet never offer to help bring the things to pass and want to see us do it for them.
They forget we have homes, family's, and often callings that God placed on our lives beside being a pastors wife.
I became frustrated because of a comment someone made to my husband that led to him asking me to add more to something that I was already doing.
I was already feeling bad and for those of you don't know I have SLE Lupus. I was on a time crunch to get certain things do before I had my monthly infusion for my Lupus.
Because It knocks me down for almost a week.
I don't think he meant to send me teetering over board.
yet his words and their expectations did.
I realized after a heated discussion and the words I quit that filled the room. I need to spend some time with my Daddy. Do I could fully understand my frustration and what I needed to do moving forward.
These were the things he showed me !
I hope these 5 simple things help you as they have me! 
Being a pastors wife isn't easy or glamorous. It can be rewarding yet challenging! My prayers these things help you and that you know that its okay to to say I quit! Aka I need a break! 
  1. I need time with Him, time for Him to speak to my heart with out the outside world telling me what they want from me. This needs to be outside of my quite time. When someone brings a new task for me. before I agree I need to tell them I need time to pray and think about it. tell them I will get back with them in 24 to 48 hours. Yes this includes my hubby. Hes agreed to this . I can not minister effectively if I am over extended.
  2. I have take care of me physically. If I am not physically okay I can minister effectively as well. I need proper rest and care for me. That mean one day a week I have a day off from ministry and housework. I can rest that whole day if needed, I have chosen Monday!I am normally so wiped out after Sunday's I need a day of nothing!
  3. Sometimes my best yes is no! If I have taken time to pray about it and look over what it intells and I feel it isn't something my Daddy in heaven wants me to do. Or it is an activity that's to much for the time. It is okay to say no. Because when I become over extended, I can not serve Jesus or my family the way I am intended.
  4. Being a pastors wife isn't the the only calling God has placed in my life. I need to spend time adequately investing in both,
   5.My first priority is to my family though... If I am so over extended that its effecting my health and I can not be here for them that's actually a sin. If ministry is taking presidency over them. I need to step back and reevaluate. I have to make sure I am finding that balance. That allows me to be the wife and mom God wants me to be. Otherwise my kids even though grown will recent the the think I want them to love!

After I spent time with God and realized my priority's were out of balance. I went to my hubby and told him, What my Daddy had showed me. We both agreed we needed to approach things in this manner from this point forward.
That when things are out of balance in one area it throws everything off.
I am working on handing some stuff off which I have needed to do.
Needless to say I took back my resignation! With some terms that will keep me sane and not frustrated.
We are many things to many people my fellow pastor wives ! One thing we are not is super woman. Please take care of you and the things you need ! when you do that the rest will fall into place with out so much stress! 
I am praying this was helpful to someone! I have been a Pastors wife now for almost 20 yrs. some of these lessons are not always easily learned. Often I have found myself wishing there was someone who I could have went to for help! That's why I can share my story with you, in hopes it helps you along the way.
Praying for you ~ Shellie


  1. I'm so sorry you had a hard Sunday, I know those ALL too well.. and I've said that SO many times over the past year or so... I'm so thankful for you and for you always being there when I wanted to quit, to talk me down haha! I love you so very much, and appreciate all that you do! Love you!

    1. I am so sorry I am just now replying! I have had a lot of pain in my hands lately! I love you more than you will ever know! Sometimes I think it important to share those really hard days! So others know we aren't alone! I love you my beautiful friend! Please stay safe!

  2. I'm new to the group. Putting your priority where it needs to be really helps on those hard days.

    1. I am so sorry I am just now replying! I have had a lot of pain in my hands lately! Its so nice to have you join the group! I so agree, sometimes as pastors wives we forget that! I look forward to getting to know you through your post!


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