Wednesday, May 1, 2019

When God Uses You

I have been trying to find joy in the process! I have done well for the most part! A friend of mine have even been texting one another each morning something we are thankful for. I am finding when we are being thankful it's very hard not to be grateful for what you have! Even when it is less than perfect! 
I was setting outside this evening on our patio. We are getting ready to put a permanent roof over it . So I can enjoy the sun with out it causing a flare!
I was thinking about the construction process. How it is much like us! We have to clear away anything that would hinder the building before the building can begin.
Then piece by piece begins to come together to make a strong steady foundation for the roof to be held.
Once the foundation is created the true building can begin. When it's complete you have a sturdy structure to admire and enjoy! 
I have come to realize that our lives have alot in common with the building process. When we let God have control He often will tear down the things that He feels are getting in the way and build us back with the things that make us stronger! I have to say these past two months have been full of challenges. I can remember being frustrated in the hospital waiting to be transferred to a larger hospital. I remember one day particular I told my husband I was just ready to go home! I had been in the hospital 19 days and  I missed my kids, my dog, my home, and my church! What I did not realize at that moment I was being prepared for what was coming the very next day! I had became super close with some of my nurses! They were literally fighting about who got my room each day! I knew them all by name! The day before was Sunday and my hubby is a preacher and the only time he left me the whole 23 day was when he needed to preach! He had left and this particular Sunday no one was able to come set with me. Which I was totally fine with because sometimes we just need a quiet moment to ourselves. This particular day I got a new nurse and she was less than enthused time be there. She messed my pain medicine up and I ended getting really sick and throwing up! So I had to get IV nausea meds! So needless to say neither me or my husband was happy when he returned.
 I didn't realize that God was allowing some things to taken away and torn away because He was trying to build something beautiful and new through the events of that day! One of my favorite nurses had stopped by and told me she had already put in to be my nurse the next morning she was so sorry for the day that I had! 
I was so relieved! When second shift came on I was relieved! I had on of my familiar nurses who knew how important it was for me to get my pain meds on time! If not the pain would soon be out of control and hard to deal with!
I rested okay that night considering I was in the hospital! The next morning shift change happened and around 8am I called for my pain medicine! I had not seen my nurse for the morning yet and I thought it was odd she had not been my yet! To my surprise though! There walked in the nurse I had the day before! I greeted her good morning hoping she was just helping out. She went on to apologizing for just coming into my room. She had just gotten there she had a appointment that morning so she had came in late. I won't lie there was apart of me who was filled with dread because of what had happened the day before. All I could imagine was another day like the one before. She gave me my meds and told us she would be back soon with the others after breakfast. My sweet hubby asked me did I want him to ask for a new nurse! I told him of course not! I didn't want to get her in trouble. Hopefully today would be the day I got transferred! We had been waiting for weeks literally! I just wanted answers! Because I have SLE Lupus. It makes the chronic constrictive pericarditis even more complicated. I need to be seen at a research hospital where there was a rheumatologist on staff. I went on with my morning wondering what kind of day would I have! She clearly didn't like me or just didn't care about the importance of keeping the pain controlled so I could breathe! 
She came in after breakfast! I kid you not it was like a whole new girl! She was chatty trying to hold a conversation. She then asked me what did I do when I wasn't cooped up in the hospital. I went on to tell her I was a pastors wife and I was our children's church administrator. I had worked with kids for twenty years and I loved every second of it! I actually missed it and it was making trying to stay and wait for answers very hard. She went on to tell us that the day before one of the nurses had told her that and she made the comment. How did nurse who did not have me as their patient, know things she did not. I was her patient and she knew nothing! I chuckled and told her she was welcome to ask anything she would like to know about us. The whole look on her face changed as she turned towards my husband. She looked him very seriously and asked him. How does God decide who He takes? She went on to share with us six months earlier she had a beautiful baby girl, born 6 weeks early. She lived 12 days and died of a serious stomach infection. She shared how she had been angry at God. But was realizing God had not taken her baby girl to punish her. Her daughter had been trying to help her see that God would never take her baby as a punishment. She was also had began to realize how much more miserable she had been with out God. Recently had just began praying again. I listened as my husband explained God loved her and would never hurt her a punishment. I listened as he reminded her we all have a time to die and death is no respecter of persons or age. He shared some scripture with her and assured her of Gods love. He offered to pray with her! Before she let him she share with us the reason she had been late that morning is she had to have assistance with ivf to get pregnant ! She had been to see the doctor to restart the treatment again to try one last time to have a baby. She is actually scheduled to have the embryo implanted the week of my anniversary ! She asked us to please pray that God would allow them to have a successful pregnancy and deliver a healthy baby! We gathered hands right there in that room and we prayed and all of us cried! As we finished she hugged us and she looked at me and told me she said I believe you are still here for me! I have heard all these things about this christian couple in this room who is kind and very easy going all she ask is we keep her pain and nausea controlled. She shared how she did and didn't want to have me as her patient. The first day she had me was not because she had asked for me. The floor was short handed and she had no choice. The next morning she had called ahead an requested my room! We all laughed and said wouldn't it be something else if I was transferred that day! At 4 o'clock that afternoon we received the news I would be transported by ambulance to Chapel Hill NC that evening! God had kept me there for her! She needed us to remind her of God's love! I needed her to remind me no matter the turn out for me ! I could be and was still being used by God even in the sick bed! I was reminded then and there no matter what season we are in someone is always reading my story! Someone is alwys watching, the question is. Am I making God look good?   
May is lupus awareness month! I want to share as much I can  about the disease I have. I want to help others understand! At the same time I want to make God look good! I can chose to be bitter and ask God why did it have to be me! I think the correct question is actually why not me?
I never ever want to unsatisfied with the life He has given me! Even though there are some days when my life is so very hard! Its hard to move and be happy that this is my life. However even on those days its better than the alternative! 
I am so  thankful I was there at Presbyterian. I made a new friend that day! I also was there to make God look really good! He showed up in that room that day! I have an appointment at the end of May I hope to stop and see my nurses and take something in to them! 
I can't wait to hear what God has done for her! I have learned some times our suffering is actually to help someone else and bring them closer! I want to share my journey with others and let them see Gods goodness through the process. I may have lupus and a rare heart condition! Yet they don't have me! I serve a mighty God who could cure them both at the speaking of a word! Or He can use me to draw others closer to Him.
I just hope I am making Him look good!
Thank you for stopping by and letting me share my heart! I hope you have a blessed week!
~Prayerfully Yours ~ Shellie 


  1. Such a beautiful story! Your strength never fails to amaze me my friend! I love you so so so much, you have touched so many lives!!! Your'e amazing :) I'm glad to hear about your patio, and I can't wait to come see it! Love you bunches!

  2. Thank you!I love you more than you could ever know!I can't wait for you come to visit! I love you mostess!


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