Tuesday, July 30, 2019

When You Are Unsure Of The Unknown

I woke up much earlier for this morning and very much unable to go back to sleep.
So I tried all so hard to quietly attempt to make  it from my bedroom to the living room, with my rollalator (walker with wheels lol).
I thought at first I would do my morning quiet time and then my morning exercises and then scroll on my phone.
My Daddy (aka God incase your new here) He was like ummm I think I laid something on your heart last night to share. Of course I am gonna whine and cry because now that I have done four pages of exercises I am tired! It's hard being me most days! My Daddy said Shellie put your big girl panties on and blog what I shared with you! So here we are! He wins every time!

My life is always filled with many ups and downs. Highs and lows, I can guess you can even say rock bottom too.
 Yet how do we respond to the unknown in our lives.
Do you get mad or God and stomp your feet because your afraid of the unknown.
Do we stop talking to Him because we know we are His favorite and this silence has to stop.
Or do we simply walk away and say if God is so good why would He let this happen.

I Kinda left the Dr's office that way yesterday.. Not the first one but stomp your feet mad lol.
I had a pericardial effusion when I was discharged from the hospital the last time. Because of reoccurring symptoms and swelling. I will go Thursday for a repeat echo. Her very words if its still small we leave it alone if its larger we will have to drain it again! 
All I wanted to do is scram to the top of my lungs I have had enough!?!
How many of you want to scream you have had enough?
We all have those moments! It's what we do with them is what counts!
Even though I wanted to kick and scream! Can I share something with you I have before, Ugly cried. It wasn't pretty at all!
I choose not to get mad about the unknown. 
The unknown can be so many things! Someone you love committed suicide, you lost your job, you and your husband is having trouble, your having troubles with your teenage kid, ministry is in disarray, you don't have money to pay your bills, your health is failing you, or you thought something you had prayed for was gonna happen then it didn't.
Man I could type for days!
I was talking to my Daddy last night about my health and some decisions I may be faced to make. I want to make the best decision because there is a lot at stake.

The Unknown....... I spilled my heart out to Him as I fell asleep in His arms just telling all about my broken heart.
These are the things He showed me.
1~ He will NEVER LEAVE ME or forsake me !
Hebrews 13:5
2~When I go through the DEEP WATERS HE will be with you.
Isaiah 43:2
3~Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
Ephesians 4:2-3
4~Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.
5~"For I will restore your health to you and heal you of all your wounds," Says the Lord.
Jeremiah 30:17

God promised me last night He wasn't going anywhere! I didn't need to be afraid he would always be there  even if He is silent ! For Him to tell me He's going into the deep waters with me, He's going into the darkest battle I could ever face and with Him by my side I will always come out on the winning side always!
He wants me to be careful about who I talk to and share my fears with! Because what they might pour into my is anger and resentment.
His word promises to restore my health either here on earth or in heaven one day and I promise! I m okay with either!
Sometimes He can't give us the desires of our hearts because that is not in His plan for us ! 

I spent a really long time taking all this in... So what do we do with the Unknown?
We trust Him!
I have been recently asked was I mad at God? I asked for what?
The person replied this, Shellie you have gained so much weight due to steroids, you are so sick, and you need assistance to get around even when you go to church you use a wheelchair, and you have lost life as you known it.
The Unknown....
I replied almost laughing! No I am not mad at God! Yes I am heavier than I have ever been! But I am alive and my size does not determine beauty it comes from inside!
I may be sick and yes my body has a lot to deal with SLE Lupus is no joke and loves to attack my heart and lungs! But there is someone out there much worse than I am. I am thankful for the gift of each new day!
I may need a walker, cane, wheelchair, and a shower chair! SO what they are just accessories that make my outfits look good lol!
All though I have lost a lot I am happy I have learned so much through this process! God is so very good to me! 
I have realized our lives are stories others are watching and reading! I want God to look good!
I am not md its very hard to be mad when you live a life of thankfulness!
I choose to be thankful for each and every day! God so very good! How can I not be thankful for my everyday blessings!
But even still the unknown comes up from time to time and we need our Daddy's reassurance!
My Unknown is a scary surgery whether it would be just to drain a effusion again the recovery time is long and hard. Or if it meas we strip the pericardial sack from the heart. Its a long bloody surgery with high risk! 
This morning the unknown isn't too scary! My Daddy is gonna be with me and I am so excited to have His promises to remember to get me through each day!
I am not sure if someone reading has a unknown.... God knows though! Talk to Him and let Him reassure you the very same way He did me! He love us so very much! 
If you have an unknown you would like for me to pray about. I would be more than happy to add you to my prayer list. Simply reply in comments please pray for me! That's all you need to say unless you feel okay to share more! 

Thank you for stopping by and letting me share my heart with you! God's got our unknown even when we are unsure He never is!
I am prying for you always ! I hope you will come by again soon! 
Prayerfully Yours,


  1. There are no words to comment to the person who asked if you were mad at God. If they knew your heart they would know that you are one of the most selfless people in the whole world! Your beauty outshines the beauty of most all the other people in the world that I know. You deal with pain that others haven't even started to feel, and you do it with so much grace! I love you so so much, and I admire you for who you have always been. I will be praying right along with you about this decision that you have to make! I know you're always praying for me. I love you, don't forget it! Also remember, Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.(Pro. 31:30!) Love you very very much!

    1. You always make me feel so much better! Thank you for stopping by! I loe you the very mostess my beautiful friend!


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