Thursday, February 20, 2020

February Reflections


Today I suggest you  to grab some cocoa and let's hang out for a few moments!
As I type this I am watching the snow fall outside my window.
I am in awe of Gods handy work. 
We have had the craziest winter. It's been in the 60's and 70's here just the past two weeks. Now the beautifully white snow is falling!




I want to take a moment and check in. I haven't mentioned to be absent again. I have a hard time with not feeling well again.... Then I am going to be very transparent. February comes with a lot of sad memories. Sometimes it's necessary to feel them rather than avoid them!
So I have taken the time to sift through the hurt of reminders that some we love is gone because of suicide others has passed and left behind slot of whys.... Even in the muck of it all God still proves He is so good to us.
I had a beautiful Valentines evening with my forever valentine! We went to dinner and went to watch a local company put on Beauty and the Beast! It was amazing! He got me backstage tickets to meet and greet the cast! I had the best time! I am going to share my pictures all though I am not happy with my appearance lol! I was freezing and my Shaw makes me look huge! Even still I had to remind myself I am fearfully and wonderfully made and I am Beautiful because my Daddy the King of Kings says so! Can I get an amen!
Belle is always my favorite! 
 
Gaston did amazing so I had to get a picture with him!
But the one who stole my heart more than anyone that night was my one and only love!

I think we all have a time of year that is hard and like being lost in a dessert and your wandering in the hurt and the pain and wondering why. 
Even in the midst of the truly good.
I have learned this month through a lot of prayer and quite time. If I will just let my Daddy(AKA God) He will give you Beauty for our Ashes. He will use our story to help others. We have to be willing even when it is hard.
20 years ago my earthly Dad was murdered. By his own brother. What was even worse my Dad and I don't talk because he abused me as a young child into my early teen years. Once I got married I finally felt safe enough to tell. as you can imagine this did not go well with some family believed others were in denial. Now everyone believes me. 
Yet the heavy thing was when he was shot they called for all of his kids to come including me. Right months pregnant in a high risk pregnancy. I always thought when he was on his deathbed he would have to give me answers why. He never woke up to talk to us. I never got my why's. Many years later and very healed Shellie still grieves the Dad she always wanted in him. However my heavenly Daddy fills that void. Make it okay....
If that weren't enough not long after we moved back home form the mountains. My nephew more like my little brother committed suicide. I won't lie there is a gaping hole for him! I miss hm so much! He was loved more than he ever imagined. All though I know he is with Jesus where nothing hurts  anymore  and I would never want to bring him back. When his Birthday came around this month my heart grieved for him...
So many time we are ashamed to share our family stories because OMG what will people think if they knew!will they think badly? I have found when we share God can use our stories to help someone else find the peace they need! So if your having a hard time and need to talk email me at lilgranny76@gmail.com I will help any way I can! Because that's what we are supposed to do! Help one another.
I am looking forward to March! It is the preseason of spring! It will be the gate way of warmer weather and patio setting. The planning of flower gardens and herb gardens to come! The time will soon change and bring along more daylight and tempted walk in the park.
If you stopped by thank you for allowing me to share my heart! 
I am praying for you and hope you have wonderful weekend ahead! 
Prayerfully Yours ~ Shellie~ 


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